Toilet Humor..

So, I was taking a dump the other day. Guess what I found out? The players have already given in to the owners. Despite the fact that the two sides havent met in months, and have a set meeting for the 9th of December, in which it is rumored the players have a new revamped offer to propose to the stubborn Cap hungry owners.... But Im tellin ya, its over and the season will start soon.

Sources? Well, like I said, I was taking a dump at the time. Now, I THINK I heard a the voice of a man through my plumbing (NO, not MY plumbing you assholes)..... Most likely the sink. I heard my neighbor Billy the janitor say that he found a special piece of paper. Now, this janitor works at a junior highschool up the street, but he likes hockey a hell of a lot. From what I could hear, the paper in question was a folded up piece of paper with the words "Dear Bobby, Will you? Check one, Yes ...No" There was a blue check mark next to Yes.

This is absloute proof that the players are set to cave in. Earlier I mentioned that I THINK I heard a real live voice. Maybe I didnt, and maybe I was having one of those special moments while on the bowl. But this IS gonna happen folks. Who are ya gonna trust? We've proven to be the best there is, countless amounts of times. Are you gonna doubt us now? Pffft, you'd have to be a fool...

Anyway, we're sorry for the slow news lately. We've been busy doing... stuff, and hiring new writers and staff. So keep comming back, stay tuned, stay true, and remember that we care for you more than anyone ever could. We are dedicated to giving you our best and will go all the way for you, at the girl school, where my baby broke all the rules..

Reported by: Britny Fox