Breaking News...
An NHL official who wishes to remain anonymous has told us here at Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, that talks are heating up again. "A special power seems to have forced us and the union together. Its indescribable."
When asked if he could comment on the issues that were to be discussed in what seems to be THE last effort to save the 2005 NHL season, the official declined to answer, only stating "We want our free money". In other words, the NHL still wants its cap. Well not a cap, because as we all know Gary Bettman has insisted since day one, that he is NOT asking for a cap, just cost certainty. I mean its not like every insulting offer the NHL has made to the players association has included a cap or anything. No, not at all. Just cost certainty, NOT A CAP. No 32 million dollar cap or anything like that. None.
When asked about his ideas on what could be done by both sides to resolve this lock-out, Stan Fischler would not return our phone calls. But we know he'd just say something pro owner and anti player, then quote some ideas by well known hockey people. A person familiar with the situation of how retarded Stan Fischler is, says "The man may soon go to work for Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, because he is fucking useless". Another person who wishes to remain un-named, who is close to the situation that the other guy is familiar with, says "They'd never hire Stan. He's not qualified enough." We'll keep an eye on this situation for you all though.
Scott Nichol watch....
Well you've been asking for it, and we've brought it back for you. A long time ago, Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, brought you a special feature on the worlds favorite hockey player Scott Nichol. Well we are sorry to report to you that Scott hasn't taken a dump (on the road) all month. Since signing with the London Racers of the Elite Ice Hockey League of the UK, poor Scott has been gun shy about taking dumps. This isn't to say he hasn't dropped a deuce in his hotel room, just that he hasn't gone in the arena or in any public rest-room. We miss following him around and reporting to all his loyal fans, about how often, how stinky, and how big Scotts doodies were.
Well that's it for today's installment of Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit. Be sure to check in daily as the NHL surely draws closer to a drop dead date. So, stay tuned, stay alive, stay cool, stay clean, stay awake, stay gold, Steak Ums... and stay away from me, because I am now a complete loser. An even bigger one than Nick from Family Ties... Damn, I wish I could go back to being Uncle Jessie.
Reported by: John Stamos
(Seen here with Kevin Spacey, who has a retarded twin brother who goes by the name Gary Bettman)
When asked if he could comment on the issues that were to be discussed in what seems to be THE last effort to save the 2005 NHL season, the official declined to answer, only stating "We want our free money". In other words, the NHL still wants its cap. Well not a cap, because as we all know Gary Bettman has insisted since day one, that he is NOT asking for a cap, just cost certainty. I mean its not like every insulting offer the NHL has made to the players association has included a cap or anything. No, not at all. Just cost certainty, NOT A CAP. No 32 million dollar cap or anything like that. None.
When asked about his ideas on what could be done by both sides to resolve this lock-out, Stan Fischler would not return our phone calls. But we know he'd just say something pro owner and anti player, then quote some ideas by well known hockey people. A person familiar with the situation of how retarded Stan Fischler is, says "The man may soon go to work for Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, because he is fucking useless". Another person who wishes to remain un-named, who is close to the situation that the other guy is familiar with, says "They'd never hire Stan. He's not qualified enough." We'll keep an eye on this situation for you all though.
Scott Nichol watch....
Well you've been asking for it, and we've brought it back for you. A long time ago, Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, brought you a special feature on the worlds favorite hockey player Scott Nichol. Well we are sorry to report to you that Scott hasn't taken a dump (on the road) all month. Since signing with the London Racers of the Elite Ice Hockey League of the UK, poor Scott has been gun shy about taking dumps. This isn't to say he hasn't dropped a deuce in his hotel room, just that he hasn't gone in the arena or in any public rest-room. We miss following him around and reporting to all his loyal fans, about how often, how stinky, and how big Scotts doodies were.
Well that's it for today's installment of Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit. Be sure to check in daily as the NHL surely draws closer to a drop dead date. So, stay tuned, stay alive, stay cool, stay clean, stay awake, stay gold, Steak Ums... and stay away from me, because I am now a complete loser. An even bigger one than Nick from Family Ties... Damn, I wish I could go back to being Uncle Jessie.
Reported by: John Stamos
(Seen here with Kevin Spacey, who has a retarded twin brother who goes by the name Gary Bettman)
posted by Your momma at 2:59 AM
1 Comments:
The entire world owes you guys a great amount of thanks. Its nice to know that there is a site out there that gives us fans the TRUTH.
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