Reminder,

Dear all of my 1 readers... Please leave comments. After every "report", there is a little link for comments. You dont have to sign up or anything, you can be anonymous. You dont even have to really say anything. I just want to know if the counter at the bottom of the page is at all accurate.. Because according to that counter, we've blown up and have maaad, maaaad visitors who come here to get their REAL info...

thanks

Gary Bettman is STILL an Asshole.

What you dont believe us? Is there a hockey season? Well there you go... Proving once again how great we are here at Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit.

Stay tuned as we will have a lot more on how much of an asshole Gary Bettman is . Maybe Sunday.

Reproted by: Buttercrud

Gary Bettman is an Asshole

No, its true. The man known as Gery Bettman is infact an asshole. Not just an asshole though. To be totally truthful, hes part asshole, part cock sucker, part rat, part worm.

More on this tomorrow or something..
Stay tuned or whatever. Who cares.


Reported by: This bottle of funny named hot sauce..

Almost there. Some honest reporting..

Well it sounds like they are doing what they said would never be done. They may have a deal sometime on Wednesday. Gary Bettman will get the salary cap that he totally wasnt asking for from the start of negotiations. Goodenow will give him that cap that he said the players would NEVER accept. Folks, we may have some hockey soon.

Know what that means? RUMORS! With the cap and the possibility that a bunch of teams will have to get under the cap, this means there will be some movement of some of the bigger names in the game. Mostly the older expendable ones like the John LeClairs and such.

Some teams will have a ton of room under what will likely be around a $45 million cap. With decent players being available at discout red tag prices, this could bring promise to some of the bottom feeder teams. Teams like the Rangers saw this coming. By dumping most of their big name or overpriced "talent" at last years trade deadline, they cleared room to aquire a Keith Tkachuk, Doug Weight, John LeClair (or any other need at a bargain trade price), after the CBA was solved and the league got its cap. Teams like the Penguins and Panthers may benefit from this also, as they too can get such players that would have never came to their team before this cap situation. Players will run out of choices to get their money from. Players will now HAVE TO sign with the lower echelon teams, simply because no other team can afford them. This could help the league. It spreads the talent around a lil more.

Sure, it'd be better if the league contracted first, so players would not only run out of choices, but also be forced to take LESS money, as their worth would drop down a bit. Less teams would be willing to over-pay for that mid range free agent. They'd have to take less money and go to what ever team would take them. It would make good teams great and ok teams better. With the system that is coming in, it will be less great teams, and more mediocre teams. The entire NHL product will suffer. Less talented players will get more ice-time simply because teams will have to fill rosters within the payroll allowance. Teams like Colorado wont be super teams anymore. Teams like Toronto wont be as deep. But the Caps will have a 2nd line center playing on the first line!!! YAY! How this will help the NHL... i dont know. But atleast they are possibly gonna play.

Thanks to Disco Mouth.


So stay tuned. Hopefully the bullshit will resume.

P.S. please leave some more comments, so I can see if that counter thing at the bottom is actually working. I didnt know there were that many visitors.

Breaking News...

An NHL official who wishes to remain anonymous has told us here at Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, that talks are heating up again. "A special power seems to have forced us and the union together. Its indescribable."

When asked if he could comment on the issues that were to be discussed in what seems to be THE last effort to save the 2005 NHL season, the official declined to answer, only stating "We want our free money". In other words, the NHL still wants its cap. Well not a cap, because as we all know Gary Bettman has insisted since day one, that he is NOT asking for a cap, just cost certainty. I mean its not like every insulting offer the NHL has made to the players association has included a cap or anything. No, not at all. Just cost certainty, NOT A CAP. No 32 million dollar cap or anything like that. None.

When asked about his ideas on what could be done by both sides to resolve this lock-out, Stan Fischler would not return our phone calls. But we know he'd just say something pro owner and anti player, then quote some ideas by well known hockey people. A person familiar with the situation of how retarded Stan Fischler is, says "The man may soon go to work for Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, because he is fucking useless". Another person who wishes to remain un-named, who is close to the situation that the other guy is familiar with, says "They'd never hire Stan. He's not qualified enough." We'll keep an eye on this situation for you all though.

Scott Nichol watch....

Well you've been asking for it, and we've brought it back for you. A long time ago, Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit, brought you a special feature on the worlds favorite hockey player Scott Nichol. Well we are sorry to report to you that Scott hasn't taken a dump (on the road) all month. Since signing with the London Racers of the Elite Ice Hockey League of the UK, poor Scott has been gun shy about taking dumps. This isn't to say he hasn't dropped a deuce in his hotel room, just that he hasn't gone in the arena or in any public rest-room. We miss following him around and reporting to all his loyal fans, about how often, how stinky, and how big Scotts doodies were.

Well that's it for today's installment of Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit. Be sure to check in daily as the NHL surely draws closer to a drop dead date. So, stay tuned, stay alive, stay cool, stay clean, stay awake, stay gold, Steak Ums... and stay away from me, because I am now a complete loser. An even bigger one than Nick from Family Ties... Damn, I wish I could go back to being Uncle Jessie.


Reported by: John Stamos
(Seen here with Kevin Spacey, who has a retarded twin brother who goes by the name Gary Bettman)