Sunday, March 20, 2005

A New Hope

Yeah, yeah the new Star Wars is coming out next month. Everybody knows that. What isnt know is that there may be a deal reached between the NHLPA and the NHL owners. How are we so sure? Pfffft, as if we'd tell you.. Im willing to bet that in some time late May, this will start to be the new rumor. You'll hear about how the NHL is rehiring its people and how a deal may soon be reached with the season starting on time in October. You just wait and see. Come back in a month and you tell us what YOUVE heard. Truth is it will be too late. WE will have broken the story already. WE are the best. WE are the only ones with TRUE inside sources.

In other news Stan Fischler still has shit on his dick, and it blenongs to Gary Bettman.

So stay tuned, and kiss our asses when we are right, because we're good enough, we're smart enough, and gosh darn it people like us.
Stew
Reported by: Stewart Smalley

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Interview with a Hockey Rumor guy

Sorry we've been away for such a long time, but there really hasnt been much to report on. We don't like to get fans hopes up about the little meetings that take place. Since we are the real deal, we only report things of interest to you the fan. The REAL inside scoop. We've never lied about any info we've ever acquired and passed on to you. EVER. Show us one example of where we lied or made something up. I thought so..

Speaking of making things up... We have recently conducted an interview with an Internet Blog hockey writer who claims to have inside sources and connections. The readers of Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit were asked to submit questions for the writer in question. Here, take a gander at this gem, and remember why you come HERE instead of other places...........................
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The Eklund saga....

Hello Mr Eklund and welcome to our new segment called "Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit's reader interactive interview". We asked our readers to come up with some questions for us to ask you. We took the 3 BEST questions submitted, and will now ask you to answer them. Shall we begin?


Mr Eklund: OK, lets get started.

OK, here's question 1- from one of our readers.

"Analcheese4" asks: Why do you lie so much?

Mr Eklund: I don't lie. I only post "Rumors and Speculation from the world of Hockey. Our Goal is to post only rumors from reliable sources." Yet, somehow I manage to act as if "players, agents and NHL employees" contact me and give me insight and exclusive interviews. I also have "regular contributors" who land such interviews with these "players, agents and NHL employees".
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Nice job. I believe him. Don't you? Reliable INDEED.

Onto question #2

"IJOoverrumors" asks: Now, do you live an entire lie? Or do you just lie about hockey rumors?

Mr Eklund: Like I said I don't lie. I have connections. I've been right-- NEVER, and I am not responsible for the rumors I post, because they don't come from me. Just a reliable source... So I am not a liar. Its not my fault that my made up, fake sources, are never right, and my fake interviews with fake imaginary "anonymous", "players, agents and NHL employees" are totally fictitious, untrue, and dare I say... BULLSHIT...
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Wow, that's special. I'm glad we have gotten to the bottom of that. Mr Eklund is doing a fine job here, while taking some real hard questions from the real hardcore hockey fans and readers of Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit.

Question #3

"Ilikepizza" asks: Are you really Pelle Eklund? And if so, why are you located in the US? You were born in Sweden you ass... If you aren't, who the hell would want to use Pelle Eklund as their alias? You're a fucking loser dude..

Mr Eklund: Yes. Yes I am Pelle Eklund. Want proof? Here it is.

I was an eighth-round draft pick of the Philadelphia Flyers, 161st overall, in the 1983 NHL Entry Draft. I grew up in Sweden and played with my country's national team before moving to North America in 1985. It's quite likely I went so low in the draft because teams were uncertain if I would leave my native country to play hockey.
In my rookie NHL season in 1985-86, I played in 70 games, scoring 66 points, including 15 goals. The following year the Flyers advanced all the way to the Stanley Cup finals but were defeated in a tough seven-game series by Wayne Gretzky and the Edmonton Oilers.
I played in at least 70 games in each of my first six years in Philadelphia, while playing in at least 50 games during my last two full seasons with the Flyers. Midway through the 1993-94 season, I was dealt to the Dallas Stars where I played five games.
That marked the end of Eklund's NHL career. I chose to return to my own country to play for Leksands IF of the Swedish Elite league. I played five years with the team before retiring from professional hockey in the spring of 1999 at the age of 36.

Now that's proof that I am truly Pelle Eklund, and in no way took this piece of information from Legendsofhockey.com and changed these writings to make it sound as if I were telling you this information. I wouldn't do that. I don't lie. I just report information from reliable sources.
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I wish I was Pelle Eklund. What a great, great man he is. After all those years he is still contributing to the world of hockey, by posting all those rumors and interviews. I think we all owe Mr Eklund our praise and worship. I think we should bombard him with our affection with e-mails here at: pelle@eklundshockeyreport.com . Lets all show him what we all think of him..

Well Mr Eklund, thanks for taking the time out of your day to chat with our readers. You've been extremely helpful to us all.

Mr Eklund: Thanks, it was a pleasure to tall...

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Shut the fuck up you lying piece of shit..

Well that's it for today folks. Pelle Eklund was here and lied his ass off. Somehow, Im not surprised. What a shitdick. I'm sure we've showed once again, what a class act we are here at Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit. With hockey talk at its minimal, we will be dropping in very little over the next few weeks, to give you honest, true rumors and insight and interviews.

So, stay tuned if you want to. And remember... WE CARE, and we are dedicated to give you the best "Rumors and Speculation from the world of Hockey. Our Goal is to post only rumors from reliable sources". We love you all, think you're hot and want to-- slide it in, right to the top, gonna slide it in.. I aint never gonna stop. Gonna slide it in, slide it in, slide it, slide it in..

Whitesnake
Reported by: 80's rock band WHITESNAKE as a part of our new support the 80's rock bands program for hockey writing.
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