A look around the NHL
Well its about time we looked around the league and told you folks what is up with the other teams. Im sure all of the readers from around the globe are tired of reading about the NY Rangers. Since we here at Badseedsnewsrumorsandalloutbullshit have maaaad conections around the league, we have to share what we have for you.
Today we will start with the EAST, here we go.....
In alphabetical order:
Eastern Conference
Atlanta Thrashers: These guys are gonna make a trade one day.
Boston Bruins: Although our source says nothing big is going down in Beantown, you never know, something may happen some time this season...
Buffalo Sabres: Its highly rumored on some message board that Buffalo is looking to make some trades. We havent been able to confirm just who yet.
Carolina Hurricanes: Two words.... Ron Francis. Two more words....... We think... Two more words....... he should...... Two more words....... be on.... Two more words....... the block.
Three more words... Cat, Dog, Poopy.
Florida Panthers: After Mike Keenan killed three players and being arrested for the murders, the Panthers are gonna stay pat with their 20 year olds and never EVER add any kind of veteran players to guide, and help lead this team out of the basement. That would be just wrong and stupid if they were to bring in some legit NHL talent. Stupid Mike Keenan. What a mean jerk face.
Montreal Canadiens: As noted on other sites, the Habs are INDEED going to make a trade one day. Whether you like it or not. Then again other sites are for fags, but its not like theres anything wrong with that....
New Jersey Devils: Brodeur is going in a blockbuster deal for Joe Thorton, trust us.
New York Islanders: A hot female reporter that is close to the sitiation, because shes got a hot ass, gets inside stuff for us. Mike Milbury has no penis. Also, he is going to trade a player or two this year.
New York Rangers: Poti, Carter, Dunham, Lindros, Lundmark, Poti again, and Jason Labarbara are all going somewhere. Sather hates these players with a passion. Its well known throughout the league, and on the internet.
Ottawa Senators: Since this team is obviously done, they are gonna start to deal off all major players in a fire sale. All except Karel Rachunek, as they plan to build the entire team aound him, and likely Craig Rivet when they aquire him from the Habs for a 30 goal scorer like Alfredsson or something. THEN, in the major move they will look to land star defenseman Bob Boughner. "Gotta build a team from the defense out", is what a person -who cleans toilets, in what ever the name of Ottawas arena is now called- said.
Philadelphia Flyers: No trades at all. Although Bobby Clarke hasnt returned our phone calls at the time of this article being posted, it is said that Bobby Clarke will never make another deal again, for as long as he is the GM. EVER!
Pittsburgh Penguins: Martin Straka is gonna take a pay cut proving all other asshole sites on the internet WRONG! Straka stays put and LIKES IT!
Tampa Bay Lightning: Of course everyone knows that the Lightning are thinking about trading Khabibulin. All good teams with solid goal tending think about dealing the backbone of their team. Our league official that knows a GM who knows Tampas GM says he isnt sure where he may land.
Toronto Maple Leafs: We dont know shit about Toronto, except that people up there think they know everything. Even though we love everybody, a big fuck you goes out to Toronto and all the other ass clowns in Canada who think the game is all about Canadian heritage, and that we should still be kissing their asses for the sport, even though most of their NHL squads cant hack it in the league. Bitches. We do care though. More on this situation some other day... EVEN THOUGH WE ARE JOKING. SORRY CANADA, Its not my fault you guys cant get over yourselves, and dont have a sense of humor
Washington Capitals: Well as we all know the Caps just want Jagr out of there. Since he IS coming to NY for Anson Carter, they will then also trade Kolzig. Gotta trade the only player on the team who has earned his weight in gold for years. We stole this story from some other site. Screw them we are better than they are. We do share the same source on this one though. If only we had THEIR sources ontop of the star studded ones we already have. We'd dominate the world in ALL news, not just hockey trade rumors like we do now.
More on the West some other day. Stay tuned, Its gonna get crazy one day. Lots of top of the line goalies are gonna be dealt, and a bunch off teams are gonna start dumping salaries. You are really special to us, and we want to be with you for the rest of our lives.
Remember you heard it here first, and...........
..............................
..............................
.................................
...................................
..........................................
what do you mean Flash Gordon approaching?
Reporter: Ming the Merciless
Today we will start with the EAST, here we go.....
In alphabetical order:
Eastern Conference
Atlanta Thrashers: These guys are gonna make a trade one day.
Boston Bruins: Although our source says nothing big is going down in Beantown, you never know, something may happen some time this season...
Buffalo Sabres: Its highly rumored on some message board that Buffalo is looking to make some trades. We havent been able to confirm just who yet.
Carolina Hurricanes: Two words.... Ron Francis. Two more words....... We think... Two more words....... he should...... Two more words....... be on.... Two more words....... the block.
Three more words... Cat, Dog, Poopy.
Florida Panthers: After Mike Keenan killed three players and being arrested for the murders, the Panthers are gonna stay pat with their 20 year olds and never EVER add any kind of veteran players to guide, and help lead this team out of the basement. That would be just wrong and stupid if they were to bring in some legit NHL talent. Stupid Mike Keenan. What a mean jerk face.
Montreal Canadiens: As noted on other sites, the Habs are INDEED going to make a trade one day. Whether you like it or not. Then again other sites are for fags, but its not like theres anything wrong with that....
New Jersey Devils: Brodeur is going in a blockbuster deal for Joe Thorton, trust us.
New York Islanders: A hot female reporter that is close to the sitiation, because shes got a hot ass, gets inside stuff for us. Mike Milbury has no penis. Also, he is going to trade a player or two this year.
New York Rangers: Poti, Carter, Dunham, Lindros, Lundmark, Poti again, and Jason Labarbara are all going somewhere. Sather hates these players with a passion. Its well known throughout the league, and on the internet.
Ottawa Senators: Since this team is obviously done, they are gonna start to deal off all major players in a fire sale. All except Karel Rachunek, as they plan to build the entire team aound him, and likely Craig Rivet when they aquire him from the Habs for a 30 goal scorer like Alfredsson or something. THEN, in the major move they will look to land star defenseman Bob Boughner. "Gotta build a team from the defense out", is what a person -who cleans toilets, in what ever the name of Ottawas arena is now called- said.
Philadelphia Flyers: No trades at all. Although Bobby Clarke hasnt returned our phone calls at the time of this article being posted, it is said that Bobby Clarke will never make another deal again, for as long as he is the GM. EVER!
Pittsburgh Penguins: Martin Straka is gonna take a pay cut proving all other asshole sites on the internet WRONG! Straka stays put and LIKES IT!
Tampa Bay Lightning: Of course everyone knows that the Lightning are thinking about trading Khabibulin. All good teams with solid goal tending think about dealing the backbone of their team. Our league official that knows a GM who knows Tampas GM says he isnt sure where he may land.
Toronto Maple Leafs: We dont know shit about Toronto, except that people up there think they know everything. Even though we love everybody, a big fuck you goes out to Toronto and all the other ass clowns in Canada who think the game is all about Canadian heritage, and that we should still be kissing their asses for the sport, even though most of their NHL squads cant hack it in the league. Bitches. We do care though. More on this situation some other day... EVEN THOUGH WE ARE JOKING. SORRY CANADA, Its not my fault you guys cant get over yourselves, and dont have a sense of humor
Washington Capitals: Well as we all know the Caps just want Jagr out of there. Since he IS coming to NY for Anson Carter, they will then also trade Kolzig. Gotta trade the only player on the team who has earned his weight in gold for years. We stole this story from some other site. Screw them we are better than they are. We do share the same source on this one though. If only we had THEIR sources ontop of the star studded ones we already have. We'd dominate the world in ALL news, not just hockey trade rumors like we do now.
More on the West some other day. Stay tuned, Its gonna get crazy one day. Lots of top of the line goalies are gonna be dealt, and a bunch off teams are gonna start dumping salaries. You are really special to us, and we want to be with you for the rest of our lives.
Remember you heard it here first, and...........
..............................
..............................
.................................
...................................
..........................................
what do you mean Flash Gordon approaching?
Reporter: Ming the Merciless
posted by Your momma at 11:47 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home